Apology from an innocent person


What is going on? Are you okay? I just saw this crazy post in USFunJumpers.

I know we haven’t talked this year and I thought you were doing okay.

I just talked to your son and he says he’s been busy with college and hasn’t seen you in a few weeks either.

Firstly, a couple of sport jumpers just left here to bring you a beer and make sure you’re okay.

Secondly, I don’t know what is going on in your mind, do you really have a TBI? I am so sorry that you got hurt, however, you can’t make false accusations against me- this could hurt me. You have to stop this now, or I’ll have to get an attorney involved.

As for the day you got hurt, I’m sorry you went in- remember what I always say, it’s not if it’s when.

I’m sorry if you weren’t clear – I thought you knew I planned that downwinder for you — you’re good, I thought you were ready to excel!

Clearly, my bad, let me buy your next case of beer.

I was there and I am here.

An Innocent Social Studies teacher posing as a Canopy Coach.


To be clear, this is a work of fiction- Shaggy did not write this. He is welcome to use it as a template if he would like.

Here is what Shaggy actually wrote and line by line, and my interpretation of it.

Time to keep going…


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