No Botox

After nearly two years, I was looking forward to some relief today. It did not come. Instead, I got a call this morning from the hospital. Now a week after I received an ‘abnormal’ score on my pre-surgery ekg, I got a call from a cardiologist wanting to set an appointment, okay.

How is 10:30? They asked. Today? I said.

I suppose Doctor G really wanted to meet me. Can you tell me your story? She said. Are you sure I asked as I gave a warning to the volume of information I had available for her. She requested filtered results and I complied.

My heart is probably fine. My doctor also scheduled and emergency echo for me- a week after my abnormal test. Better safe than sorry?

I did the echo, scheduled at 12:30 necessitated missing my 12:30 Botox appointment. So, I have have a half set of curly toes.

I am still walking well. The cardiologist is a DO. She confirmed I likely had an entrapped nerve. I asked if it was normal to take two years to resolve.

Got a call from the surgeon, they asked why when I told them I was considering canceling the surgery. I had an answer for them. I may have ranted. That’s okay, she understood.

Played with the dog a lot today, no shit. He’s getting good at going outside. Also, I made a mistake. I must be more careful about what I teach him. Now Soulless knows what belly rubs are, and how to ask for them.

He met the mail lady today, tomorrow he’ll try harder not to follow her out of the yard. (Yet, he will know other people can come into my yard.)

Tired. Left leg beyond all sore. The pork chop is coming back to life! I crawled on all four and my knee didn’t feel explosive. From my toes to my knees, through my hips and up my spine my brain sits at the top of this complex mess of flesh and soul, now it feels balanced.

When I close my eyes I know where my feet are. Oh, and I can drive. And enjoy it. My car feels so good, the bumps in the road do not hurt. The force of GT acceleration does not hurt. I can stand up and squeeze my butt. I can push my knees back and touch my toes.

I hurt. I’m in bed typing on my phone because I almost went to bed without writing tonight, that’s how much it all hurts. Oh, and at least for today, it hurts so good. My leg is alive, and life hurts.

The cancelled surgeon office said they could order PT… good luck I said, then told another story.

Time to rest.

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