Today is the first day that I’d rather not be doing what I’m doing right now.. writing this post.
Writing this post without lying to myself. With being as honest about myself as I am about others. I am glad I had the quiet time tonight to figure out the words. Have been working this over in my mind and out loud to myself, with no one but my walking stick to witness it. I thought about drinking another beer- and I might when I’m done- to delay a bit more, I already cleaned the car to avoid this. At least delay until it’s late enough that I have to go quickly.
Pray God, no one reads my whole posts, let’s give the best stuff first— aggg, still trying to hide this and if I hide it, I keep it. This day has some really great highs, yet they did not come until some really low lows, and in between, I learned something about me. I learned something that I needed to know in this journey, this IS my adventure that I choose and chose to write about.
“Be the author, make it good story.” sounds great when I plan my story at dawn and make it happen. It’s kinda fun when I have unique moments with others that cement themselves as memories I want to share. Yet, in my venture party of one, I’m not always the best guy I should be – and looking around today, there was no one here to blame except myself. So now I make another choice, to keep it secret and let it haunt me, or as with my journey, to share it here tonight. It is now ten twenty three pm.
Sleep in the car on the unregulated beach front in the county to the south of Corpus Christi. Surprising, traffic goes up at down that ‘road’ all night long (someone remind me to make another post about “Texas roads” now that I’ve been in the city.). Yet I slept well, well I slept. Tonight I will try again and I expect to sleep well. The drivers seat I have napped in before, with the seat all the way back and tilted, a pillow or two, and you can almost get comfortable, almost. The center console extends from the dash and is unchanging in its elbow high height as I sit in the drivers seat. The back seat, if it wasn’t occupied fully with my ‘kitchette’ (a twenty liter portable DC fridge and my dry goods) and also doubling as my closet too (tent, blankets, mummy back, clean and dirty clothes bags, and my jacket) isn’t enough space for a child to lay down, much less myself.
The leaves two options, one long term: remove/ modify to be removable, the rear seat that fold down to access the trunk on the passenger side and also remove/modify to be removable the passenger seat back, allowing me to connect those three spaces into a single sleeping spaces down the passenger side of my car (for any new readers, I drive a Mustang GT two thousand.) Short term, the only way to get the length I need in here, is to sleep diagonally. With al the sorting I’ve done, the passenger seat is mostly empty and the rear seat behind me is stuffed full of clothes and bedding. With a bit of reorganization (less time than erecting the tent) I can move that pile around to elevate the height of those two seats to match the center console. With the drivers seat leaned forward, there is a surprising amount of space – just lumpy and bumpy.
Waking up early with the traffic and a much louder gulf (much closer on this portion compared to mustang island, I had a nice hour of quiet time, comfortably laying in ‘bed’ playing on my phone. Last night I loaded all day preparing to make the jump to the new spot, Kent stuck around all day too – it was nice yet borderline on interrupting the work and slowing me down.
He had offered to share dinner with me, that he would cook at the new spot- by this way, he was also inviting himself to follow me to the new spot- seeing and accepting both I agreed and we talked about as I worked- as soon as I can get there, loading now my now re-re-re-sorted belongings into every small space I could find.
Off track, I have lots of Kent stories I want to share, and will as soon as I can, yet it is ten fifty four, I have to get to the story I have to tell now, the day it happened.
This morning I offered to buy breakfast, so as soon I saw him get out of his vehicle to walk his dog, Charly, I got up and moving myself. Sidenote: physically speaking, it is not easy for me to move my body around this year, the contortions necessary to move myself into the sleeping position I could not have done even a week or two ago. We went up to a local island breakfast place, which was a great breakfast, yet as island prices.. ten bucks for two (medium sized) pancakes, two strips of bacon and two eggs.
The conversation was amazing. Kent is very religious and has been alone with Charly for over ten years. He has read the same daily devotional book for as many years, and likes to reflect on his morning reading through the day. Also, politely said, Kent is most likely on the left side of an IQ bellcurve. Many scriptures have been memorized and he fully grasps God’s love for him and returns the same in praise, yet some of the depth of those scriptures have been out of his reach. Side note: just now I said the IQ bellcurve, yet that is not correct. Kent is a genius- as one, I can easily recognize one. Give him a standardized test based on prospecting.
As he quote something, I’ll usually follow it by completing the verse or idea, that makes him very happy- to see that I know the same thing he is say, then I’ll follow it with some added information. Such as, he likes the verse talking about what goes into a man and what come out- and I was able to share more of that story, a few side notes, then related it back to how I asked him if I could bless our food at the meal we were eating (he had responded with yes!, yes!, yes!, please do!). The first day we met, he did the same with skydiving, as soon as he heard my story.
“So you go out and just pull a parachute out of your bag?” Well, we keep it packed well first, we don’t want it to come out until it’s ready, and then come out surely. I showed him the rig I have with me and he was enthralled- full joy mode and asking questions. I loved it too. When I got tired, or with the religious topics, asked more than I knew, I would say so and give the standard “mysteries of christ” [and usually change the topic back to prospecting, so we could switch roles.] I’m not sure how the topic came up as we were talking about denominations, yet Mary came up, and I gave my apologetic best lesson (without it being a defense, as he was a willing student.) Yet, I also taught it a way, that if he remembered my words as well as others he had learned, he had the right answers to the most common and false idea from people, that catholic’s worship Mary, etc.
He excused himself to the restroom and the couple sitting behind us caught my eye. I was pretty sure they had been able to overhear us (neither of us are quiet people) and the gentle smiled, and I said hello. Steve and his wife are new to Texas, from California where he made good money, after working his way up to his own company, as a general contractor. He’s excited about canopy flight, and has hang-glided before. I described my incident, as I often due to set the tone as a “reckless incident – no different then one caused by someone doing a wheelie on a motorcycle at highway speeds.”
He understood the analogy and launched into his love for motorcycles (and some of the boundaries he used to push.). Four or five nice bikes, after a while he found his bikes taking time away from his family – so he bought four wheelers for his wife and kids too!
They were nice, Kent came back and we went outside. He had plans of going to New Mexico next when I met him, as did I. And we have enjoyed many good conversations yet ever the last few days, I need to stay here still, it is not time to take off yet – just little jumps looking for a legal place to pitch my tent away from the beach! I had errands after breakfast and he asked repeatedly where I would be later, back at Mustang Island. Thinking then, he was urgently making sure he could find me; reflecting now, I think that was his way of saying he wouldn’t be trying. I haven’t seen him since.
Eleven twenty seven.. time for speed mode, I’m not gonna mess this up this time.
Walmart next, for the restrooms myself (none at the unregulated beach.) Then some shopping- and walking with a cart. I didn’t need anything, yet picked up a few things, some more lunch salads and a package of strawberries and blueberries to snack on too. The last days of working have not been good, as I’ve skipped my mile walks and I can tell the difference. Tomorrow, back to the priorities – again.
Autozone to look for a scan tool and to see if they had any good tire sealant.. I have no address for online ordering anymore. Also got a bluetooth scan tool. Next errand, some more hemp smokes, yet I wanted a different shop than the last. With google maps, the closest on my way to Dicks, the next stop, was Mr. Nice Guy. Went in- saw an awesome smile from ten yards away – a man with a waxed and curly mustache. I smiled so big and said “OMG, I love that, just like a friend of mine, Tyler!” (a skydiving friend) to which he replied “Okay! But my name is Braxton. (my jaw almost dropped, another skydiving friend of mine.) More conversation than time.
Now the bad part, the very much less good part. As I came out of the shop, I wanted to smoke one of the prerolls that I had bought, yet my car (with it’s solar panels) was in the shade, so I moved and reparked to the north in the same lot to smoke it. While getting ready to pull out afterward, I saw there was a massage parlor. I haven’t had a massage since weeks before I left Jackson, not since before I broke my tib/fib. I moved my car again and parked in front of the business.
As I went to get out, I stopped and almost reached for my stack of cash. Maybe this was one of “those” places, were cash gets you extra. I have never been to one of those places, yet that is the thought that jumped in my mind. Next was, no- (remembering the last two hundred spent) I was not going to put a bill in my pocket to get something I don’t want, then carry that bill til the Sunday donation plate. I had learned.
I put the bag back and walked in carrying just my phone with cc/id. A thirty minute massage for forty two (two extra for the credit card.) A private room, down to my shorts and face down on the bed with my nose and mouth through the breathing hole. Not the best massage, yet not the worse – really made me think of my two masseuses at home, the young one and the old one – I still don’t know their names.
About half way though, she told me to flip over and left the room, coming back in and around to my side, she grabbed the elastic of my shorts and snapped it, and said “you want extra?” motioning with her hand to make it obvious. Shocked at a number of things: one I had found one of “those” places, two the extrapolation of meaning of her words, and three that she had asked my consent for what she wanted to do.
I could only say that I didn’t bring in any cash- it was in my car.
“You go get”.
No, I only want a massage, and she was fine with that, “Okay.” as she went to work on my legs.
She was not very good at leg massages, I had the feeling she didn’t give them often. I kept thinking about the younger masseuse in Jackson, I’ve talked to her a lot, she’s even introduced me to her daughter whom is often with her, she is really nice and I’m attacted to her, yet I would never know how to ask someone out, especially with a language barrier (there is always something) so I never have had anything except polite conversations..
Next I was thinking that if she (present tense) was this bad at leg massages, she must be really good at something else.
Do you take credit card?
“Extra two dollar.”
Sitting in my car afterward, and in the moment, I knew that was wrong. I really liked that she asked me. She didn’t do a wrong thing to me. I, I, I did it. This realm of my sexual history and stories is gonna be ugly, yet, I’m solving it.
I will never have to write a story like this again. No one else did this, no one else was here except me. I, I, I did it.
I made a bad choice, I prayed, I regretted, I sorrowed. I went to Dicks Sporting Goods.
Eleven fifty seven – my fault I don’t have more time for the best part.
I bought a metal detector, I might end up in Alaska, yet I am looking for gold now.
Marius, Cici, and Lauren – the two ladies taking photos of him.
I helped. That was gold
time to rest