Insert time.

I finally received a reply from my doctor this morning, I had been waiting all week. A few other things have been getting pushed along too. I’ve needed to update my tags, and that needs car insurance, yet the expenses have been prohibitive. With some things re-arranged, that priority had been allotted to me, however, I still needed to get the “get it done”, done. With the cash available in my Blue Ox account, I was going to withdraw it yesterday to get the process moving.

Then I remembered it was Wednesday and how odd it is that my bank chooses a day to be closed. Pushed until this morning, then almost pushed again as I read my doctor’s message and immediately began my reply. Several hours later… I was still going on the email and realized I wasn’t even close to being done. Pushing myself away from my desk I realized how hungry I was, just minutes past noon. I’ve been having grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch lately and have left the electric griddle and butter dish out next to the bread to speed up the process.

By the time I finished lunch and went to go sit down, I tried to think about what I really needed to get done today. With the answers his email contained, I knew I did not need the other doctor’s appointment in Ann Arbor tomorrow- that I now knew I needed to cancel, so I called the number from the texts they’ve been sending to let them know they were not needed at this particular step. With that, the only element that actually was urgent (the next active element in my healthcare is a week away,) was then checked off as ‘done’.

Trying to think of the first priorities of the day I had planned, I blinked back to the bank errand I had skipped yesterday. Glad I waited. I checked my balance first before walking over and was surprised to find that my tax return had arrived! With only $13,000 in gross income, minus taxes, and then reduced by over $7,000 to accommodate for my benefits package, and that I had no dependents for the first time in 23 years, I did not expect to receive a sizeable return this year.

Usually, my taxes are done promptly early in the year, however, in the last few years, more extensions have been filed each year. In years past, I anticipated my returns and for the most part tried to spend them well. The last few years though, I had been a lot more stable and for the most part, had learned to save up and get ahead. Each tax season, without the rush I lacked the action to produce my year-end paperwork for my accountant to file anything but extensions until real deadlines were reached.

By this year, expecting nothing, keeping up on “year-end paperwork” was not even in my realm of reality. Taxes? I was trying to find places to camp near toilets each day. I had to convince myself to climb out of a warm sleeping bag, I had to convince myself to stand. I had to convince myself to obtain, prepare and eat food each day. Those things had to be pushed into my reality. Oh, my reality started so small. Looking back, thinking of how I felt.

“Such a small world” is such a weird phrase as it defines both ends of its spectrum. My world contained just one, everyone else is they (Made by Them.) Such a scary place really with no one to help understand them, except more of them. It’s better now, I think I can really communicate again with most people. Sometimes though, some days, some interactions just don’t seem to go well and as I am the bearer of brain damage, it’s only logical to presume it’s me.

Oh, my big sister. She came to visit me this year and got the ball rolling to get my taxes done. I had begun to collect it since the day in Alamogordo when I received my mail (thank you Mr. Narrator.) Five days short of a month since her visit and one day delayed in my quest to go to the bank to then go buy two months of car insurance (with then four more payments.) See and behold, what did I find in my bank account this morning? An extra $1,132. Yeah, that is good.

And waiting for it, that made it better.  The same amount in my pocket in Alamogordo might have changed any number of decisions. I might have found myself out and stuck somewhere. I might never have met Jimi and been convinced to save my house (he both convinced me that it could be saved and that I could save it.) My path over the last six months, if not the year (or forty-some,) before that, has been so ‘random’ and yet so choreographed to have brought me safely to this present moment.

Today, this sum allowed me to make what truly may have been the most adult decision that I may have ever made in my life. Mind you, I had already emancipated my parents, done drugs, had children, and had been legally wed and divorced. I’ve gone to jail, been elected, and have represented my City and County well at various times around, before, since, and even between those events. I’m old enough for a mid-life crisis for crying out loud!

Today, I paid for a whole six-month car insurance policy, upfront with cash.

Told you, adulting right here. Like, wow right? I went from hoping to be homeless six months ago to paying for a car insurance policy in full today. And you know what, that’s not even the best part of the day by far. Better were the people in the office. I have my Insurance (auto and home,) with Joe Munie from State Farm and for the last year or so, I have not been very good at dealing with things over the phone. Or by text. Or email. Or postcard. Which was moderately okay, while finances held.

Walking into their office today, I was welcomed and invited to sit. As quickly as I could make it across the small room I pulled the chair under me and looked up to the computer screen to see my information already displayed. Bridget, I think her name might be, offered me her service and inquired about my visit. With a quick explanation, she went to speak to one of Joe’s agents and shortly, I was led into another office to meet Lacey.

Let me summarize for time.

  1. I wish all interactions happened as well as this one did.
  2. I wish all people kept a blog like this so I could go read theirs.
  3. I was quoted the lowest price ever for six months of car insurance ($235!)
  4. I hope I remember how I was treated today if I ever receive another postcard.

I am now seven days away from having valid insurance, apparently, there is a new law that Lacey made sure to inform me about and saved me an hour in line at the SOS today. Leaving their office completely satisfied with my choices and the results, I opted for a second lunch and stopped at Burger King on East Michigan Ave. After my whopper meal, I walked across the parking in the Pet store right next door.

I hadn’t seen Dee in a few years, yet it only took me a minute to jog her memory- a story of my little sister and her previous employee Tara. A smile of recognition- I love that lightbulb moment in a person’s eyes- and I jumped to a quick synopsis of my current state. Then, the reason for my visit. I am highly considering purchasing a pet of some sort. I’d love a dog. I’m thinking of maybe getting a beta fish. Else, Dee showed me a frog in the back that wouldn’t really cost too much more and I would be able to hold and pet it.

I shared stories of seeing a wild bearded dragon in New Mexico and she showed me some very pretty beta fish- they eat food with a more stable shelf life (I had explained the severity of my attention deficits and my worry to forget to feed a pet.) The dragons, frogs, and geckos need a bit more attention than just fresh water, they want fresh cricket food.

No pet today, though I really enjoyed my visit to Dee’s store and I can’t wait for my next trip there. After that, I splurged to obtain my pleasure. Forty minutes of heaven, face down in my boxer shorts, slathered in lotion, beaten, elbowed, my muscle fibers broken. She announced her completion and walked away from the table with the blanket still draped over me. Clearly, a sign a nap was allowed. Some time later the blanket was removed and I began the process for my soul to resume its automation of my body. Another $5 tip.

Better than drugs by far, this was a line that took forty minutes to inhale. The endorphin rush as my muscles spasmed and released, the anticipation of each elbow plunge. When she started with the lotion, it was over. Forget drugs, this was better than sex. It was soo good. Forty minutes facedown, long slow deep pressure movements gliding with liquid ease over the length of my body. Moaning, just slightly… yes, this was a good massage.

Another two hours working on my reply to my doctor’s email once I’d returned home. Then I had to stop myself again- I was getting hungry (again- like really, so annoying how often you have to remember this task,) I wanted to sit and watch a movie, I wanted to begin this blog post, and I still was nowhere close to being done with that reply.  So, I stopped trying.

One of the things I like about my blog is that each post is my daily effort- no more, no less. Yes, sometimes I think for months about a topic before I begin to write. Yet once I begin to write you receive no more than one day’s effort- sometimes, maybe a few quick typos corrected the next day. I did not spend a week, nor was I surrounded by a team at all each day. For your amount of human effort to read my words- our abilities are equal here and nothing is for sale (except my ham radio,) the content here is free for you to read.

Soon, I plan to sell books and that is just an easier format for you, the convenience to catch up on the story so quickly with a printed book with cost you a little bit if you choose. Your choice there of course will play into my story- imagine what I might write on the way to my first book signing, or maybe after I meet one of the tonight show hosts as a best-selling author, all while giving away my content for free.

However, this method of daily ‘come-while-it’s-fresh’ attitude might not be the best method to produce the level of communication needed for me to feel confident about this letter I’m typing to my doctor.

Not so much a reply anymore, but rather a letter already halfway down its second page. He deserves a curated approach and my spear needs to be sharpened and precise. I will take what I have and barter for what I need and thank my very human doctor for his deeds.

Truly a spectacular day.  Lacey asked me some really good questions about my journey. She asked if there were any scary parts, and there were. She asked if my journey resulted in any spiritual gains. I smiled and grinned, maybe chuckled a bit and I’m not sure if I actually answered fully with my voice or just that raw display. I find myself now so fully Catholic, less religious, and hopefully a much better follower of my Lord.

Would I recommend a journey to anyone else she asked? Yes. Yes, I would.

Time to rest.





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