I’m starting to like mornings again. Or I’m starting to like mornings more, again. Having on site bathroom facilities is a convenience oft taken for granted. Certainly every parent has told every child at some point “pee before we go”, yet for months I’ve had to plan ahead for the extra walking, and lately driving distance to a restroom. Yet enough of that, this morning I woke just after dawn as usual, yet with an extra hours worth of sleep. An hour from the only place it could come if I keep such a consistent rise time, the night before. Lets see if I can be in bed by eleven tonight.. it’s already ten oh three.
This morning, I woke up at home. I rose from my bed, walked to the bathroom barefoot with only my boxers and t-shirt on, walked back to the kitchen to make my tea, notched the heater up a bit and curled up in my chair with a blanket and my tea. March in a tarp tent in New Mexico gets a bit chilly in the morning, yet I’ve found anything over thirty five more than tolerable. Even the morning at twenty eight wasn’t that bad (though I stayed in the mummy bag for thirty minutes while the stove warmed the larger tarp tent.)
The feeling was one of comfort and peace yet also caused concern. Comfortable is good, yet getting comfortable with comfortable is not. While curled up with my blanket and tea, I reached for my lists and went to work. Crossing items, consolidating, making phone calls. Making tentative decisions. I can only put off the obvious for so long, I either need to live in my house or sell it. There will be no middle ground. I had a few hopes in there yes, yet truthfully, those hopes only gave me the peace I need the last three months to come to terms with this choice.
Two, three, four months ago now? How long since I started the first take off list? Maybe the goal wasn’t clearly stated then, yet simply put now, my health was my immediate and number one (and only) priority. I had to be somewhere where I could be healthy. It was mission critical. And where I was, wasn’t healthy. However, I think any place can become unhealthy.. if you start getting too comfortable, too set in your ways, too isolated.
That is easy to do (for me) when there is no outside input. I knew that would happen at some part or parts of this journey. I’m honestly surprised I’ve maintained daily internet access so far! Having this site forces me to think outside of myself each night. It’s somewhat like having a conversation with another person(s)- my readers, a one to many conversation. Am I really talking to others though, or just to another voice in my head that represents my cognitive collection of thoughts about my readers. Am I talking to myself or to you, or you. To each of you, all of you present (and future.)
Is this what is to be a regular blogger? To be comfortable typing out loud to the voices in your head?
Okay, where was I, let me read back a minute.. Yes, I am feeling comfortable and homey (at times) here now, getting used to it- and planning (hoping?) what could be better at my next site. Cellular access was one of my first concerns, now as I plan to head into the forest I’m thinking more about fresh food and gasoline for fourteen days (as the drive back in town is fifty miles each way.)
Ten thirty and it’s starting to get chill in here, with the stove burner left on after dinner to slow down the heat loss, it’s now down to fifty five point nine degrees. With my blanket and a sweatshirt on I’m comfortable, though my hands are cold. The still dry air makes it tolerable- it’s really these mosquitoes that are rushing the writing tonight- and I’d say I’m getting used to it too. The mornings are a bit worse, as the early humidity is high make the cold air feel moist on your morning skin.
There are enough mosquitoes inside my tarp tent that I’m searching on Amazon for noseem mesh.
Highlight of the day, week, month, year… I got my youngest son on the phone (and didn’t let him off for three hours.) We do text a lot, yet we’ve never talked on the phone much with each other.. as we always lived with each other. Until the incident.
Oh, too many mosquitoes.. may move sites ahead of plan. They are getting progressively worse each day. There could be enough to carry me away soon.
Sorry about the crappy picture.. let’s call it artistically blurred. It was shot one handed while talking on the phone, my first conversation with another person since the day before Valentines Day when I met Larry at the last state park in Texas.
Wow.. was I silent, no sometimes I talk out loud to myself, and yes I listen to radio and tv.. yet five weeks without a full conversation with another person? That is a record I don’t want to break.
Time to rest.