Punishment Path?

A much better day, top notch really. Close to one when I went to sleep last night, I slept in til just past eight. Downstairs quickly to begin my day with a smoke. A day, once begun with a smoke generally continues with them. Now, one thing I like about smoking a tobacco pipe, similar to a cigar, is that you can set it down and relight it later, much easier than a cigarette. Similar to a vape, it can always be kept close at hand, and if properly tended will stay lit between distant puffs.

This way, you can get used to constant puffing. Refilling each time it runs empty over the day. An enjoyable activity, yet I seem to have allowed a predicament whereas sitting to smoke my pipe has become a worthy use of my time. Which has a direct hours-per-day cost that comes off the top of any possible productivity. Not to mention the dollar cost of a tobacco habit that can now be measured in ounces per day. The large bags of tobacco that I usually purchase are perhaps twelve or fourteen ounces and have only been lasting seven to ten days.

I’ve thought several times about it and several techniques have been tried before. This time, the last time with nicotine, I’m going cold turkey. No more pipe tobacco. No more vapes. (Gosh already knows no more dip or cigarettes.) This morning I had enough tobacco remaining for about half a bowlful in the new pipe that I picked up in New Mexico. I packed and lit the bowl, a slow process that I’ve come to enjoy. Halfway through, it was time to go up and take my pills.

Knowing the physical effects the lack of nicotine was about to bring on and also knowing that my Vyvanse dose is still set to the ‘starter’ dose of 30mg, upgradable to 75 mg max, I decided today would be a great day to see how 60 mg would make me feel. I like it, feels close to how it used to be last December, except I’m in so much better shape now. Took my pills promptly and ‘fulfilled my morning duties’ and went back downstairs to finish enjoying my last smoke.

I did and within the next hour, I realized I really should plug in and connect my (old 40 lbs. LaserJet,) printer to be able to print and turn in papers for correction. I stood and went to look at it- it’s been where it is on the floor of the laundry room for the last eighteen months since my boys ‘cleaned’ my house in preparation for me to come home in a wheelchair. While looking, I figured I should see how heavy it was. By some grace of God, I was able to deadlift it off the ground using every ounce of my back and not my knees.

After a quick pause setting it on the washing machine to adjust my handgrips, I leaned back to take its weight and carried it into the kitchen and across to a spot I had cleared on the previous media center, now just a low bookshelf taking the space under the whiteboard- a perfect height to hold the printer- now that I see it there. I think I took a quick lap around the house to stretch my leg, then went to find a network cable from the boxes in the back room. Connected, powered, next I just had to wait for the boot-up and configure it to accept the network information.

Test page printed: I almost went to go sit. However, there was no tobacco, I knew this. I still saw the pipe though, and the jar, the ashtray, the ashes and tobacco scraps covering the table.. and spreading across the floor. Had to take care of that. Started with just that, the pipe, the jar, the basic accessories. The next two hours went cleaning out the downstairs and kitchen area, sweeping everything even. Placing away in a cabinet all the things that would be of no use to me now.

I spent some time locating and beginning the publishing process for the second book; 587 pages as of now, likely 620 pages once I’m finished editing it. A few more hours’ worth of work, still no editing, adding line breaks though as needed to give the same “spaced paragraph” look as the website has. Before long I was getting hungry. Past four, and even Facebook couldn’t keep my mind off my belly any longer (why, at this point, I realized I’d been avoiding eating,) I thought of my leftovers, yet, that just didn’t fascinate me. Rather, I gathered myself and went across town to the High Street Wendy’s and went and ate a nice lunch at the park.

Feeling so obligated, afterward, I took a lap around this so-called “punishment path” I’ve heard of in the area and set my record pace on it during my first mile- eighteen and half minutes per mile! At one point I did have a choice of paths, a larger version of the loop and I choose the shorter one and ended with 1.45 miles. Looking at the map, I do believe this path was made to be a perfect 5k (~3.1 miles,) by taking one lap around the smaller and larger loops and I may try that at some point. Next time I could try the larger loop. The time after maybe two laps of the smaller loop.

Though the concrete seemed just as punishing as Cooper Street, the boardwalk section was nice and there was be more pleasant atmosphere overall than just walking down a street through town. Under thirty minutes was not a bad time, however, my ankle did lose form at the end. I need to look into another something or other to help it out. My knee is gaining strength though, I think that is what I notice now the most. Also, my entire core and back are not involved with every step (or is the complete opposite true,) which makes me think I’m to the point that I’m mentally blocking the muscular tightness.

So today I had the last of the tobacco this morning, double the pharmaceuticals, and triple the work output as a result. I wonder what will happen when I run out of cannabis tomorrow. It is 12:59 am right now. I have a student navigator appointment for my sixth college enrollment coming up at 9:00 am.

Time to rest.

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