Cannabis

Not a performance enhancing drug. Soothes the belly, dulls the migraine, and stimulates the soul, yet it does not enhance performance.

I slept better last night and woke up early and felt more rested than I have in while. As I sat up in bed and looked around, my clean room almost surprised me, yesterday I’d moved my inversion table to my spare bedroom. Just one item removed, yet what a difference it made as I was able to move around my baskets of laundry (perhaps I should take care of them..)

I felt good with the first few steps- it seems each day now it is feeling stronger and more like a leg, my leg. A leg under my subconscious control- which is huge step up to having to think about every muscle and every joint for every step. Jumping in the shower, it was almost normal.  Just a normal enjoyable hot shower, relaxing with my head back under the stream with my eyes closed. Not even thinking about my foot or it’s grip, just a normal shower.

Downstairs for tea and breakfast, I switched the TV on and sat down and tried to think what I was going to do for the day. Nothing pressing on the list, I thought about smoking, yet I’m out. So I though about tapping out the jar for some crumbs… Why? I asked myself.  If you want to smoke, go buy some, or not. Taking my mind off it for a moment, I got up and walked into the kitchen.  It’s still (or was) on the list to be cleaned. Hate cleaning, yet with nothing else to do, I started by just picking the counter.

Then I ran a load of dishes, brought the dirty laundry down from upstairs, separated and started a load of whites. I walked back through the kitchen and finished clearing the counters, then saw the garbage overflowing a bit, so pulled that bag out, starting another one and walked through the house looking for anything that needed throwing away. Garbage taken out, came back in and it was just shy of ten am.

The absence of cannabis appears to enhance performance. Three loads of laundry, two loads of dishes, the kitchen almost done and a ton of work on the pull up bar.  Two sessions 30 minute session on my foot electroshock massager thing (and my left foot is starting to respond to the shocks! My nerves are healing.)

By noon I’d had enough cleaning and sat down to write, more to have reason to sit for a while, yet a nice story came out. Next I went for a walk (lately, it’s been closer to the end of the day,) and this time I went south. The route is level, yet it didn’t feel that way. Might have been the temperature, it was a bit warmer, whatever it was, the walk felt hard. Before I made it down to the turn around point (which I measured out precisely with google maps for a one mile loop,) I was already breaking down my nice steps and starting to swing my leg around with my hip.

Slowing down I just tried to focus on the steps, of my step. Knee up, pulling up the toe, extend and stretch out the heel, and the hardest part, trying to keep that toe up tension as my foot lands.  To the halfway point and turned around, the way back was even worse. I stopped several times to just catch my breathe and rest for a second.  Even stopped and chatted with an old couple on their porch, I can’t recall their names, yet nice people that were alway happy to host one of my signs in their yard for my elections (three in a row with their support,) until the last one for the Commissioner race, a partisan election where I had to publicly identify as a Republican.

I refused to say the word when I ran in the City, as that is a non-partisan race. I enjoyed that a lot more.  So many people look for the label to know if they support you or not. I refused the label, and rather I open myself to any question on any policy at all. So many good discussions, and so often people would guess me wrong. I’d answer all their questions and some would say “So you are liberal, aren’t you”. I’d smile and tell them I’m non-partisan.. just a budget minded person who likes to treat all people well.

Okay, no politics. I finished the walk home, with another rest or two- it was really surprising as these mile walk have been really routine.  Then again, I haven’t been walking around cleaning half the house before going on a walk at two pm.  Sweating, working, my heart rate up, I just wanted to get home. Rested for a bit, then emptied the drying, putting in the next load and bring the clothes upstairs.

By four, I was exhausted, just completely wore out. I thought of curling up in my chair, then decided to go bed for a nap. Yet, the nap did not come. Instead it was just more floor exercises, on a cushy bed. I can almost sit down fully on my feet without pain (as if you’re kneeling with your legs straight back and together, then sit down on them.) And the stretch of my quad in that position is getting better too.

A phone call from a friend in Florida was nice, as he had a few questions and some advice to relay- so he reached out and did just that. It feels good to have my story listened to, a conversation with give and take, questions and answers. At the end, I believe my point of view was understood- perhaps not believed as fact (as there are alternate versions out there…) yet accepted as my point of view.

Off the phone and done stretching, I was back downstairs at six, looking around I almost went for the broom and mop, then decided I have to leave something for tomorrow. I did another 30 minutes on the foot machine, then dinner, a steak on the flat top pan and onto this bit of writing.

So.. no more cannabis on the daily, there were points in the last 18 months were it was essential, but not now. After the first three weeks of coma and surgeries and anesthesia, my GI track was empty, bowels were bloated and I could barely drink the broth. Two broth meals and I was promoted to real food- my first was delicious brownie (and thank you Justin, bringing me necessary medicine in a hospital is an act of mercy and I’ve still got your Tupperware waiting to see you again.) Everything worked out better after that.

Now though, the productive boost is more important for my PT, than mellowing sensation to obfuscate this ringing in my mind. It’s like I almost have a headache.. like when you almost have to sneeze- and you just have to hold and wait for it.  Kind of like that, except I don’t want the headache to come, yet it’s always just right on the edge- until something does flare it up. I’ll get used to it.

So, a good, good day. Still ended up feeling “bored” for parts of it, then I’d move on to the next thing. So much got done (even more little things than made it into the post,) that I’m looking forward to some rest tomorrow.. then Monday will be the day to start finishing the book.

Time to rest.