I’m starting to think writing might start to get harder. Typing is easy enough now, yet coming up with which words to type will be more difficult. It’s not that I don’t have more to say, ha, I don’t know if I’ve ever run out of things to say. Yet, perhaps that implies I’ve never really said what I needed to, if I never finish the job. Well, also I suppose, that depends on the conversation. Some are supposed to be open ended.
I think this is my tenth night here, leaving, officially, four more remaining for my stay and they will be four warm days. The nighttime lows are around and just over fifty, and the daytime temps are around and just over eighty. Yet, to be cliche, it is a dry heat.
I’ve held off the trip to Walmart for two extra days now and I’m down to just a little bit of tobacco. I am thinking about quitting, again. Certainly I could do without the expense and of course it’s healthier. And the option out here would be cold turkey. And that would be pretty rough coming off of a pipe.
See, over the years of my nicotine addition, I’ve smoked cigarettes, chewed tobacco, done snuff, mods & vapes, and smoke a pipe. A pipe, in my opinion, it the optimum nicotine delivery system- if you want to deliver a shit ton of nicotine. The last time I quit smoking my pipe, I switched to the mod (like a vape, yet filled with your own oil/juice mix.). The first few days, I had to use the pure twenty four mg nicotine juice for the first few days, I couldn’t even mix in the flavor.
Over the next three years, I tapered down that mix until I was vaping about point three mg nicotine by the end of two thousand twenty one. The day my youngest son and I left for my fateful Florida trip, I was done. With the change of scenery and the excitement of an adventure made it easy- and it was actually easy to ignore the mediocre cravings caused from changing from point three percent to zero overnight.
Yet now, my nicotine levels are sky high, smoking the pipe will do that. Yet, I kinda wonder with my experience withdrawing from Oxycodone, if that would make dropping nicotine experience different.
Honestly though, I do kind of like smoking my pipe, it is relaxing. So why am I thinking about this? Well, I notice I skipped lunch yesterday. Didn’t even realize it until this morning when I was mentally planning on how to make today a better day than yesterday. It seemed odd, as my appetite has been fairly consistent. It’s simple, I eat three times per day, every day. I’m no dietician, yet I really am trying to be healthy, well, I am now. In my past life I could live on pizza rolls or fast food. I paid no attention to this basic aspect of my health.
After I recalled that I had skipped lunch, I tried to figure out why. My activity and everything else has been consistent, so why didn’t I eat. Wasn’t hungry was the only thing I could come up with. Like my appetite was being suppressed. Ah yeah, that is one of the side effects of nicotine. So that bothered me. Cool with the lung cancer risk I guess, yet I’m not okay with skipping meals anymore. I made up for it by eating a whole bag of salad for lunch today.
I might start planning for a whole bag every day now, that was a good lunch. I guess thats the secret to getting that “filled up” feeling from a salad lunch, eat more salad.
So Walmart tomorrow to pick up a few things, and get some food- yet not too much. I’m keeping food in the tent now, as this is where I cook, and I certainly don’t want to carry in a lot of grocers if I’m just going to have to pack it all up when (if) I move in four days. I’m pretty sure I could stay unnoticed another fourteen days, yet it would be really nice to find a spot with some better wind protection. Also, to be able to make a time lapse video of the next setup.
So today? Almost exactly like yesterday, except with lunch too. That made today better. This morning I was sore, my abs and my back especially- yet this time instead of just my left side pains, it was all around both sides. I suppose all the stretches, sidebands and sittups (well, crunches actually,) are doing their work. For the last two months I’ve focused almost entirely walking and ADL’s as my PT. Yet there are lot more muscles, and actually walking might not be the best to get back the strength I need.
Sure, a gym sounds easy and I’m glad I got to visit one in Mathis, yet I’m not really for weight- beyond my own body weight that is. This week, being “inside” and all on my bed, has made big impact. Wether I’m relaxing, watching TV, or reading, my body does not hold still when I’m in bed. Pushing, pulling, twisting on my pelvis, my legs or my back. Random leg lifts or ankle lifts, I can’t hold still.
My lower body is really sore, I need to start spreading the load. Maybe I should start one of those hundred pushup a day challenges. Hmm, maybe. How to make tomorrow a better day than today. Squeeze in another walk? Maybe walk to the restrooms instead of drive up there. Not sure, that is a conversation for the morning, at night, I look back at the day.
It’s was a good day. All my meals, all my pills, all my walks, all my exercises.
To note, in the first paragraph I had no clue what to say tonight.. then I started.. then I started. That’s how it works for me, start me talking about one thing- anything- then just sit back and watch me go on for hours.
Okay, enough of that.
Time to rest.
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